To my FREINDS Wife without whose help/narration this could not have bin completed in HALF TIME!! ;)The 'feel-happy' medicine!!Wife and I are cruising. I am at the wheel. Wife is giving instructions. She is also reacting rather personally to each potential road crisis as if all of it is my making.
"Maybe you should get a driver," wife says. " You look nervous driving." Your instructions and hyperventions dont help either, I want to say, but dont. " I am nervous," I agree. I realise we are always in agreement when there is a negative judgement about me. "No one observes rules in this city," I add, staring at two young girls in tights. One of them is wearing a pair of hipsters cut so low, they might have been stockings. Maybe they are stockings. And she is just a very hopeful person.
"You shouldnt be staring at girls," wife says. What else am I to do in a traffic jam, I want to ask, but dont. Has she got nothing better to do than watch what I am watching?? Cant a man just lust? "The traffic here is not good for my cholestrol," I say. "You need to drink less," wife says. It occurs to me she has a solution for all my crisis and all of them seem to involve my sacrificing one pleasure or another. "Lets go to my homeopath," wife says. "He is also a counsellor. You need a counsellor."
" I dont know about that," I say.
" I do. Lets please go to the counsellor now. You are always stressed and this guy is really good."
"All right then,lets go," I say.
The homeopath welcomes us into his cabin on the mezzanine floor. We sit, and I see him exchanging knowing glances with wife. Maybe this is a set-up? "So you feel stressed?" The homeopath asks me.
"Yes"
"Has he any fears?" the homeopath asks wife. Maybe he thinks she is my mother?. "So many fears," wife sighs, looking at me." What are your fears?" the homeopath asks me. " I fear someting bad is going to happen any time," I say. "Hmm," the homeopath says and nods his head at wife. "Anxiety neurosis," he says. Wife smiles at him in understanding. Naturally, her synpathies are with the homeopath. "What else?" the homeopath asks. "You feel people are out to get you?"
"All the time."
"Paranoia," the homeopath whispers, as if that was the name of a very close friend who recently died. "Does he shout at home?" he asks wife. Wife nods. "Only when I cant find my underwear in the cupboard," I say.
The homeopath looks at wife. I am hoping the homeopath will hold her responsible for the missing briefs, but nothing of that sort transpires. Wife smiles at him. Homeopath smiles back. "Is he impatient?"
"Is he impatient!" wife says. "He is Mr. Jhut-Put Chowdhary. He is very very impatient. The most impatient man I know,in fact."
"Only when I am in a hurry," I say. "I am always having too many things to do." Thats sounds weak even to me.
"Hmm," the homeopath says."Is he confident?" he asks wife. Hello, I am here, but never mind me, I feel like saying,but dont.
"He seems to be on the face of it,but I am not too sure,"wife says helpfully."Yes, ofcourse,you never know, it could be all an act," the homeopath says.
Maybe you two should get married,I feel like saying,but I dont. "I am pretty cool with people," I say. "Hmm," the homeopath says. "Isnt he a writer or something?" he asks wife. She nods.
"I came across something you wrote the other day.Sad and confused,it struck me. Why do you write sad stuff?"
"Not sad.Just truth and irony."
"All negative stuff,really.Why do you feel so negative,huh?"
I was hoping you would figure that out for me."
"Hmm," the homeopath says.
"Write happy stuff.Feel happy stuff.Talk happy stuff,okay? I have got some really good medicine here for you. Take it regularly and you will feel happy."
"If I feel too happy,I might stop writing,you know?"
"Never mind," wife says.
She says it as if no one would miss it if I stopped writing."Ofcourse I mind," I say. "Time to choose between writing and happiness," the homeopath says, handing me a bottle of medicine and a measuring glass. "And between family and writing as well," wife says. Such choices, I want to say,but dont.
we get into the car. I am at the wheel. wife is giving instructions.
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